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They say entrepreneurs don’t get their ideas from a sudden spurt of inspiration, it’s more like a 'slow hunch'. One of the  ‘slow hunches’ I’ve had over the course of my years in University has boiled down to this: Some people aren’t worth your time, so focus on the few that are. This is obviously an extreme minority, and I want to avoid making a post that is ultimately negative, but look at it this way: 

There is no person in this world like yourself. You are wonderful for the qualities that make you, you. Any ‘thing’, ’one’ , or ‘place’ that interferes with your sense of self worth should be gracefully removed.

I’d like to give a non-personal example, as these sorts of situations are much easier to spot from the outside looking in (as with many things in life). Let’s call this person, Leslie. Leslie has moved to China, after much difficult consideration, preparation, and paperwork. In this process of her move, Leslie was in communication with her male acquaintance, we’ll call him John from Candyland, that also wanted to come to China.

The two decided that they would make the move together, ultimately making the process easier for both of them. Leslie went to her embassy and got her visa, and her travelling companion did not. Her ‘friend’ John promised that he would be close behind, and would see her there.

Her ‘friend’ did not see her there. When Leslie was going through the difficult process of adjusting to a new country, John continued to ask questions about how life was going, what he should expect, and what problems she had encountered. It soon became obvious that he was questioning coming to China at all, and had let Leslie take the leap of faith by herself. To this day, he continues to test the waters from a distance, marking ‘read’ Facebook’ messages as unread. What should Leslie do?

It can be harsh, and brash, but the solution is simple: Do not give them the time of day. From my experience, here is a sample three-point-plan for removing a really sucky person from your life. Violins are optional, and Super Soaker attacks are discouraged.

Think about it: I find often times when I’m angry, I need to sleep on it and give it some sober thought. If I’m still angry after 2 days, I think to myself: “How long have I known this person, and is it worth cutting them?”. There is nothing worse than sending off a few angry texts in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later.
 
Explain yourself: Let them know what the problem is – eg. “Hey, are you coming to China or are you just humming and hawing, because I thought the plan was to meet here?”. Their reaction is a great way to see if you misgauged the situation all together. Maybe you overreacted?

Stop talking to them: This is the best part, cleaning up! As gentlemen (or gentlewoman), I’m a believer that we should do this gracefully. Don’t yell, don’t drunk text, don’t talk behind their back, don’t do anything! That’s the beauty of this third step, you just cut contact completely and the damage is minimal.

Quick and Painless! Do you think there is a better way to approach problem people in your life?

- Dave



 


Comments

04/03/2013 5:54am

Easier said than done, but definitely the best way to deal with a situation!

Reply



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    Howdy! Dave Howard here.

    Welcome to my space in our new blogging collab, Jump Factor.

    "Best Foot Forward" is a collection of thoughts, ideas, and interesting stories that hint at little pieces of our human nature.

    In a nutshell - this blog is my own process of self discovery, where I share what I learn about myself and others, through experience, reading, and whatever else.

    It's an odd transition, with the impending end of my undergrad. Come along for the ride! 

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